Change of pace

I had an enjoyable workout yesterday. :)

It was supposed to be my day off for the week, but my friend Kristi called and insisted I join her and Yvonne at Hogback bridge for some stairs. I protested, explained I am really broke and can't afford gas etc... so she came and picked me up! No excuses!

Now, when Kristi said stairs I was expecting some sort of a long stone  staircase somewhere... I was definitely surprised to come upon this -


this was the view from the top down

and this was the view from the bottom up!

As you can see it is quite steep and winding! Furthermore, there are some areas where the stairs are REALLY far apart and it had rained earlier in the day so it was SLIPPERY! By all rights I should have a broken neck today... seriously.

It was an enjoyable workout though. We did it 10 times (down and up was ONE) and we also walked some trails. Something a bit outside of the norm that was both enjoyable and cleansing. It also provided the serenity I needed to clarify the importance of taking time to smell the roses.

I find myself rushing constantly. I am a "rusher" in life. Always rushing from one task to another and half-assing them along the way.  I get the "rusher" trait from my mom and can actually see how it impacts her life. She never gets to fully enjoy what she is doing. She is always worried about what else she has to do. She is always speeding, always in a hurry and seems stressed often. I see those traits in my life too. JT has told me in the past that I am a rusher and that I just need to slow down - if something doesn't get done today oh well, relax and do it tomorrow.

I almost had an epiphany last night while driving about rushing. Here I am, driving home from class (the one that is an hour away... I hit a deer on the way home from this darn class last week...) anyways - I was driving the speed limit 55mph and it was still daylight because I left early to avoid driving with one headlight at night. I was enjoying the radio, enjoying the scenery when I noticed a car right up on my tail. I kind of chuckled... usually I am the one who feels like I need to go 5 mph faster so I can get where I am going 1 minute faster than I would have anyways...

After a while this kid obviously got tired of going the speed limit because he passed me, I said to myself "man, kids are just in such a hurry all of the time." Which made me chuckle to refer to someone who was probably my age as a kid. I guess that just means I am growing up and realizing that by rushing through life I am not fully enjoying the experience.

And that is something I am trying to work on a lot. Fully enjoying my experience. Enjoying my workouts, enjoying my runs, enjoying my food, enjoying my blogging time, reading time, enjoying the talks JT and I have - really just enjoying my life without always feeling so rushed, stressed and worried. And it is  so hard, but it is becoming easier every day... It is all about having an awareness

Well, I am headed to the gym now - maybe I'll have something more to write later. Thank you for reading.

Getting Stronger

First - lets start with a little mood-setting music (and a pretty neat video!)



Very good song. And a very fitting one for this post. I am getting harder, better, faster and stronger.

One of the things that is most important to me, even more so than being thin, is being strong and cardio-vascularly fit. (I may have made that word up... but you get the point.) As much as I'd like to see results NOW, I LOVE the process of feeling my body change and the feeling of getting stronger. I love going to the gym and being able to lift more weight or do more reps than last week. I love the feeling of being able to do squats and lunges without excruciating burning pain in my legs and hammies!And I love knowing that the work I am doing is changing my body.

I am also getting faster. I am a SLOW runner, but as I continue to put in the miles (even if I only do 2-3 a day) my pace increases and it gets easier and easier.

I am getting harder ... well my body is anyways. I hate the feeling of being a soft sloppy fat ball, it is nice to finally feel like I am toning up a bit! haha!

And all of these changes are making me better - I feel like a better and more informed/educated person (thanks to my research!) Life is just GOOD! The only thing missing right now, honestly, is JT and the dogs. Everything else feels great.

Today was a great day. I ran to the gym (approx 1.4 miles) did chest and back and then ran home. I also went on a nice long walk with my mom and Sparg around the neighborhood a few times. JT and I had a great conversation too. I have been feeling a bit discouraged because I feel like I should be seeing more weight loss- but, after I sent him my calorie burn information he determined that I have had enough of a deficit to lose the amount of weight I have. Unfortunately, biggest loser gives us a skewed view of weight loss and if we don't lose 5-10 lbs a week we think we suck... the truth is ANY weight loss is an accomplishment because it is NOT easy.

I am learning so much about myself and my body on this new journey. It is far better than any of the other attempts I have made to lose weight... I believe the reason for that, is that this time it is not an attempt, but a commitment to myself. I also think the satisfaction I get from working towards a much sought-after goal, and actually feeling better and seeing results helps. It is a cycle that I'm happy to be in.

Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be”

George Sheehan

What does it mean to "have faith"

In light of the controversy with our government's budget today, as well as the plight of our beloved Boston Red Sox, today I would like to talk about what it means to "have faith."

Most of you on this blog who really know me, know that I am very unsure about my religious beliefs at this point in my life. A lot of confusion I have felt was perpetuated upon moving to Texas due to the discomfort I felt living in such a conservative, bible-belt town. Further, I took a history class last semester called "Religion as a Forceful Pattern," which made me even more confused.

I do believe there is a higher power. I have always felt a deep spiritual connection with a higher being in my life and have no doubt one exists... whether it is the universe, God etc...

In this confusion, normal matters often get confused and one of those things is "faith."

What does it mean to have faith? A lot of people and in the past me, have felt that faith means believing in God and that is all. Or, they only associate the word with religion. But, now that I feel more enlightened and open minded, I feel like faith has to do with a lot more than just religion.

To me faith means trusting and believing. I have faith that if I continue to put in the work, I will see the results I desire. I may not see them right now... or even soon, but I will see them.  There is no statistical proof, in fact there isn't even any history, because I have never worked long enough to see my desired results... but, without seeing it right now or in the past, I have faith that with my continued hard work I will not be disappointed.

I have faith in my fellow man. Faith that people will generally do what is right. Yes, there are bad people in this world, but there are a lot more good people than bad people. And good people come in so many different forms...



And Mr. Autrey is only one example... there are people around us who do something good and right every day and don't get noticed, or expect to be noticed.



I have faith in our government... yes they are shitty and greedy and look out mostly for themselves, but when push comes to shove they make something happen. I may not LIKE what they make happen,  and I may not like them AT ALL... but they do deliver in the 11th hour (and often times well before.)

I have faith in my team - The Red Sox are struggling right now, but I know they will do their very best to improve. Even if they don't win it big, I have faith that they are doing everything they can to get there and I have faith that it will get better.

That brings up a deeper point... if you lose your faith (in your team, fellow man, yourself) at the first sign of adversity then what do you have?

I have faith in myself. Things don't always go as planned in my life (as most of you know, they often don't actually...) but I have faith that no matter what Im thrown I can handle it because I am strong and I trust myself to do whats right in the face of adversity. I have faith in myself to follow through with my commitment to bettering myself.

Faith is something that I believe we desperately need in our lives - the ability to truly believe and trust and accept. Without that feeling, it is difficult to feel optimistic and look to the future positively. We are what we believe...

Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
D. Elton Trueblood

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Where do you even begin

Things here have been going great. I had another great workout at the gym today and just FEEL good. I've gone  10 of the last 11 days to the gym!

I've also really been sticking to my diet, but feel like I might have to  cut a few calories out ... Im sitting at about 1500-1600 a day, but JT read a thing that said people underestimate their calories by 20-40% generally. Maybe that is why I am not actually seeing weight loss on the scale? Im not sure yet, but I picked up some books on nutrition today finally so I'll let you all know what I find!

Before I get into the next part of today's post, I want to share a link my friend Megan sent me on facebook for organic, farm-raised beef/chicken/eggs around the US. You can actually click on your  state and it will tell you what is near you!

http://eatwild.com/

Anyways, do you ever fell like you REALLY want to do something, but have no idea where to start?

I feel this way often. I would really like to learn to crochet... It would just be cool to make people blankets as gifts and to make myself scarves and such - but no matter how hard I try to learn I just keep making circles. Ive read books, watched about 40 youtube videos... I just don't get it! I would also like to learn how to do yoga, how to meditate, how to take my training to the next level, how to cook... there are a million things I want to be able to DO, but I just don't know where to even start! And even when I DO feel like I am on the right track, I often am not.

Ive mentioned the blog Living Myself To Death in the past, particularly, I mentioned the post I linked to the name of the blog. In that blog, Johnny Waite said to stop talking about what you WANT to do and to just DO it. I wrote an entire blog about it in fact and have really been sticking to it.

That is exactly why I am writing today - I have been living by the "Just Do It" mantra and I am actually seeing positive results.

I have to eat - I have no gourmet chef (JT) here to cook for me, so I am cooking for myself and coming up with some pretty awesome and out of the box healthy meals!

I want to get in shape and get fit - I am doing it and although not losing a lot of weight quite yet, I am seeing changes in my body.

I want to learn yoga and meditation, - so, I went to the library, got some books and am doing the research so I can learn how to do them.

I want to write my blog more often so I am writing more often...

The list could go on and on. It feels great to just DO. And even though I have only been doing this for not quite two weeks I am already seeing big results. My quality of life is significantly better. I am not longer just talking about living my life and talking about doing the things I want to do, I am doing them. Make a list of stuff you want to do and just start at the top and work your way down.

I do understand it is a lot easier to say to "just go do" something than to actually just go do it. And that is where we come back to getting started. How exactly do you get started? I can't say I really know how to answer that.... It is hard to go into a gym and just start working out if you don't know how to. So, I think the most important thing to do is to research. Look up "How to start working out" and decide what is right for you. Go to the library and get books. Ask a friend who has the same interest. That is really all you can do- research, experiment, and do your best. And that goes with everything. I have always had a cooking phobia! Seriously... I just never thought I had it in me - but now that I am going out on a limb and just trying things I am having success.

I know this is a little bit of a repeat blog - but it just seems like such an important message that I wanted to re-iterate it. Thanks for reading!

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can;

begin it. Boldness has genius,
power and magic in it."
- Goethe

Gym Creepers

Yes, we've all dealt with them. The creepy guy or girl at the gym who A) won't stop talking to you B) won't stop staring/glaring at you C) obviously doesn't come to the gym to actually workout, but instead comes to make it seem like they are there to workout D) wears totally inappropriate gym clothes that embarrass everyone... yep, we've all seen them or dealt with them.



This is obviously not an appropriate gym outfit.....



also not appropriate... at all...



And gentlemen... I don't care if you have the nicest legs ever... PLEASE do not wear short shorts to the gym.... Gina and I saw so much of this on deployment with the officers that I think we are both scarred for life.



And this was just FUNNY....

I have actually had several "gym creeper" experiences, with my most recent being Sunday. Unfortunately, because I felt so awful after my workout Sunday, I totally forgot about it until I saw my friend Kristen at the gym today and felt the need to warn her (just in case he creeps her too.)

So after working my butt off (hopefully literally) on the treadmill for about 45 minutes, I transitioned over to the stationary bike... that's when I first noticed creeper staring at me. Sometimes I am a little conceited though and I realize that so I figured maybe I was just imagining things. After 10 minutes on the bike it was time for lifting... Now, this is small gym so the "lifting" area is like the size of a medium sized bathroom. Creeper (who, by the way, was wearing a tight green underarmour shirt with his gut protruding) was also lifting.

Literally, as SOON as I got in ear shot of him he started talking to me. Now, I don't know about you, but when I see someone with both ear buds in trying to work out, I take that as a sign that they don't want to "chit chat." Creeper obviously doesn't get the same impression from that scenario. Anyways, he says some bullshit to me that I have to have him repeat because I couldn't hear with my ear buds in.

Creeper: "Do you work out here a lot?"

Me: "yes."

Creeper: "I've never seen you here before (or something along those lines)"

Me: "Well, I am here a lot, we must just come at different times."

So this leads into a conversation where he tells me his life story about being from Buffalo and moving to Cleveland for work (first sign he is full of shit because we all know there is NO damn work in Cleveland.) Apparently he got laid off and decided to move to Geneva because he got his sports trainer license (gut and all) and he wants to work at the new sports complex The Gareat. During this conversation I literally found a way to mention "my husband" about 6 times... hoping this dude would get the hint and just leave me alone...I was nice at first, because, I generally get approached by randoms all the time (I think people just think JT and I are nice or something...(and we are!) but, we are CONSTANTLY approached everywhere we go.) But, when this part of the conversation happened the niceness ended...

Me: "yeah thats awesome, the Gareat is a nice place. Surprised you'd come to Geneva, a town of 10,000 for work as a trainer though, rather than staying in Cleveland or going back to Buffalo."

Creeper "There isn't any work in Buffalo. Soo yeah, I really like kickboxing because I was an MMA fighter for 3 years."

Me: "really.... well that's cool (imagine me saying this completely monotone, but being sarcastic all at once...)."

Creeper: "Yeah, I also do a lot of work with inner-city kids and stuff, so do you go out ever around here?"

Me: "No, my husband isn't here so I don't have a reason to go out."

I said this last part as I was blatantly walking away from him because I had been listening to his BS the entire damn time I was doing my bicep/tricep workout.

After a few minutes of peace while finishing my routine on the machines he approached me with his name and suggested I look him up on facebook. I said, yeah thanks, nice to meet you and tossed the paper down and went back to my workout. :)

I don't even know where the paper is and I certainly didn't look creeper up on facebook lol. Some people.

So yes, this is only one occurrence of gym creeperdom that I have experienced, and I really think everyone deals with it (Poor JT deals with gym creeperdom not even at the gym... he just gets bombarded with messages by this girl who wants to run races with him and stuff all the time lol!)

I think the worse part of dealing with a gym creeper is how un-fun they make such an enjoyable experience. For me, the gym is "MY" time to reflect, concentrate, think and work on me - the last thing I want to do is talk to some douche I don't even know.

So, if you or someone you know has dealt with a gym creeper make sure to share the story in a comment so we can all get a good belly laugh. :)

As for some useful information for today's blog, here is a good article about the importance of incorporating lifting into your workout routine:

http://www.active.com/running/Articles/Reach_your_best_running_weight__Strength_train.htm?cmp=17-1-435

Sometimes things just don't go as planned

I wrote the following excerpt in my Business and Professional Writing class last night:

I am in class right now and have seven minutes until break ends... I figured I'd take this opportunity (because there is always an opportunity... right JT?) to get started on tonight's blog. I probably won't finish it until I get home later - but I figured since this is a writing class and my writing juices are flowing, I might get something good in here in the next seven minutes (although this intro took me about two to write...)

Anyways, this weekend was good for me. I had two VERY serious training days. I did an hour of cardio and lifted both days. After Saturday's workout I felt A-FREAKING-MAZING and decided Sunday would be the same. Unfortunately, the gods had something else in store... I guess I didn't eat enough, I didn't drink enough water or I over-trained, because one of those three things made me feel SO unbelievably sick after my workout. I was exhausted and nauseous and had to have my mom go to the store and get me a Gatorade. Thankfully I recovered after a short nap, but it was truly awful. Anyways, over-training. What exactly does that mean? I wasn't really sure why I felt that way so I looked it up, this is something I found:

"The first condition most people experience when exercising is reaching their lactate threshold. This is when the physical effort you are exerting produces more lactic acid than your body can process. This is typically the chemical reaction in the body that leads to nausea, dizziness, a metallic or acidic taste in your mouth, blurred vision, etc. Rather than resting, it is better to just start walking. Continuous, low effort movement, will help your body to process the excess lactic acid - even if you feel like you want to just curl up into a ball."

Well.. I didn't exactly keep working, but I do feel better now.

My plan was to finish this post up last night when I got home, but I had a few unexpected events happen that disrupted my evening....

I hit a deer. :( I feel so bad about it too. Im not sure how she did because she ran off, but my car did not do too well. It still drives (thank goodness!) And I am safe and sound. Plus I have full coverage so I will be able to get the car fixed with no problems (except a steep deductible.)
On top of that, JT is really seriously suffering with his SI joint pain. He wasn't able to move this morning... and I feel SO helpless being here and unable to help him. Luckily, we have an AMAZING Chiropractor who made him feel so much better and she gave him some exercises and such to do. I know a lot of people think Chiros are quacks, but I think they are amazing. I really feel like their holistic approach to healing the body far surpasses the idea of doping people up and not ever really fixing the problem. Anyways, I find myself worrying about my sweet husband a lot... glad he is feeling better right now!

So I took yesterday off from the gym (I felt like I needed it after my experience Sunday) but I was right back there today. I'll be honest too, I definitely struggled to make it today too! I had a long day that started at 9am with a meeting with one of my professors. (Those of you who really know me, particularly Gina, JT and Chelsea know I am NOT a morning person... in the least... so having to BE there at 9 was rough!) I had class and ran errands until 13o and then I grabbed a quick lunch (baked potato with greek yogurt as sour cream, black beans and corn) and then I headed to an appointment at the Erie Veterans Hosptial. I then went shopping at WONDERFUL Wegmans :) I didn't get home until 630 and I was exhausted. I laid on the bed for a few minutes and literally had a conversation with myself:

"ok... I can rest now and go to the gym later"

"no, if I don't go now I won't go"

"yeah you will, you can watch biggest loser while you're there"

"no, I made the commitment to do this and I will go to the gym right now, even if I don't feel like it"

So I got my happy ass up, changed and went to the gym. My workout was decent, I got seriously like... 25 Jeopardy questions correct while doing my cardio and I just feel great and accomplished now. I feel like I have earned the right to relax and watch biggest loser and the Red Sox vs Indians game.

So, there aren't really any deep meaningful messages in today's blog, except that I am continuing to work toward looking at the positives in every situation. It would be SO easy to feel sorry for myself because I hit a deer, but the real victim is the deer honestly. My car will be fixed, I am safe, but that poor baby may be suffering somewhere. Also, I honored my commitment to myself. I committed to putting every effort into my weightloss and fitness journey and I am doing that. I am so proud to say that.

Ok - here are a few informational articles for the day. I tried to choose a variety to suit everyone! :) Thanks for reading!!!! :)

http://www.active.com/running/Articles/3-Interval-Training-Plans-to-Build-Fitness-Fast.htm?cmp=17-1-398

http://www.active.com/mindandbody/articles/Finding-Balance-On-and-Off-the-Yoga-Mat.htm?cmp=17-1-401

(This one is VERY important! If you find yourself having knee, ankle or foot problems at all, the culprit might be your shoes!!!)

http://www.therunningadvisor.com/running_shoes.html

Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble.
Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain.
~Author Unknown

Should we Fear or should we LIVE

Now that I am temporarily living back home, I get the pleasure (it truly is a pleasure) of spending extra time with my little sister. Especially this week because she is on spring break.

Spending time with her today was particularly interesting as I realized she is afraid. And when I say afraid, I mean she is not only overly cautious, but also literally paranoid about everything. She won't walk by certain houses because they "look creepy." She got scared while walking the dog because another person wearing a hood was also walking on the road (as a reminder - it has been in the low 30s here, so really, she was the weird one by NOT wearing a hood.) We went to Circle K and there were some men standing outside, they were roughly in their late teens and early twenties and they were just standing there, drinking coffee and talking. I was just running in to grab something so I left the car running (again its cold...) when I came back she was pretty freaked out. Why? Because "guys dressed like that" scare her.

And that got me thinking. How can I explain to her that by spending all of her time being afraid of things and avoiding situations because she "might" get hurt or something along those lines that she isn't truly living? She is 12, it is important for her to be cautious in some situations and be aware of her surroundings, but there is a difference between being cautious and being so fearful, that one cannot live their life.

I personally have dealt with being overly fearful and it is not enjoyable. Luckily it hasn't been long and I can already see the flaw in it and am working hard to change it. I fear death. I don't know why - but the idea of mortality actually scares me. I am realizing (again, thankfully I haven't dealt with this fear long) that by worrying and fearing death I am not LIVING! If I die in two weeks, will I have lived every minute of those two weeks to their fullest? What does it mean to really "Live" your life to the fullest? For me, it means constantly working. Working on being a better person, physically, mentally and emotionally. It means helping people, being compassionate. Loving more than other people think is possible. It goes on and on. There are so many ways to live rather than fear.

Something else has also happened that makes me fear less. That is awareness. I am aware that I am being "too" worried and cautious. I feel like there are signs all around me telling me to just LIVE.

I have found that things happen in life just when you need them to. You might get a message from a friend on a day you really need someone to reach out. You might stumble across something that just speaks to you and helps open your mind. And that is precisely what has happened for JT and me. We are both again at that point where we're done talking about fitness and weightloss and just doing it. JT signed up for the Tough Mudder next Oct. Part of that was finding other pages like the "spartan race" etc... well, on one of those pages we came across the blog I've previously mentioned "Living Myself to Death" It is literally like someone in the know realized the issues we were both having and got this guy to start blogging about them. I find myself living exactly what he blogs about. Today's blog is titled "Lots of time to do nothing when you are dead." And he basically just explains the importance of not fearing your life away. He says listen, we're all going to die so really LIVE while you can. It is exactly what we all need to hear sometimes. It is what I've needed to hear the last few months during this ridiculous anxiety i've been experiencing. He also always has great quotes that apply exactly to what he is trying to get across. Here is one.

"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up - that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

So this post today is meant to cover several things. First, fear. Why do we fear? How can we stop being so afraid of something happening and just take the leap we need to to actually LIVE? How can we help our children stop being so afraid of things all of the time? In a world where there is so much chaos and uncertainty, how can we let them know that we need them to go into the future fearlessly so that they can hopefully right our wrongs?

Another point of this blog today is to ask you to notice when things happen in your life for a reason. Look at the bad in your life and think about the good that came from it. But also, notice when that friend reaches out just when you need it. Realize that sometimes you stumble on things and receive messages so that you can hear exactly what you need to. Whether it is to stop fearing the inevitable, or to look at your situations in a more positive light or that life is truly and gift and it is important that you realize that and cherish it - just notice.

So today I will leave you with this -

"The moment one commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of incidents and meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would come his or her way." -Geothe

and

"We do not choose to be born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live. " - unknown